Nope I am not referring to the women who likes to wear tight jeans, come on do not be ridiculous, that is what it is made for.
I am addressing those idiotic MEN that “palaver” themselves in the city mall (shopping center), on Regent Street and in them parties thinking that, the sight of their balls compressed in a tight pants is marvelous.
Do you really think that a woman of essence and virtue would be attracted to that? Yesterday I was in the shopping center, there was a dude wearing one of those forbidden garments with a belt matching his shoes and shit. I asked myself is what level of Gayness is this? Anyways one of his cohorts dropped something then the dude without thinking bent over to retrieve it. That revolting site agitated my stomach and made me do something I vowed not to do i.e. to pay that preposterous sixty dollars to the shopping center to use their washroom facility but my lunch was geared up to exit my humble physique.
Anyways I have decided to do this in order to spare myself the drama, I would give MEN a logical and sensible reason why tight pants should not be a part of their apparel. It is simple, if you continue to wear those tight pants (god forbid) you will only induce aliments on yourself.
You see fellas the symptoms associated with the Tight Pants Syndrome are:
1.Motility of the bowel hence causing abnormal pains 2 to 3 hrs after a meal.
2.You will experience belching, stomach distension or heartburn.
3.Indistinct abdominal discomfort.
4.Swollen abdomen. (yep it makes you look pregnant)
5.You will experience abnormal heartbeats.
6.You will acquire serious cardiac and intestinal problems in the near future.
So Men please and I am begging you for the sake of my precious stomach buy your own loose-fitting pants and if you want to you can hold them up with suspenders.