The OAs.

OA #1


There is a reason why you are an Office Assistant and not the manager.

Your mental capacity doesn’t allow you to be better. Truthfully you are at your god-damn best right now, so stop looking at me with an angry face whenever I request a document to be taken to the top floor for the twentieth time and when you are through I want you to hop onto your bicycle and hand deliver another document (It is not really a document but so it seems to you) to Ms. X (my mother).




NO! NO! NO! I don’t want you. How many times do I have to tell you that I don’t love you too?  What did you say? You want to know why?


  1. You are a 28 year old Office Assistant.
  2. Your exchange of ideas signals to me that you think that words are in danger of extinction.
  3. You have a child that you cannot afford.
  4. Baby momma drama.
  5. You live at your mom.
  6. She gives you from rope to soap.
  7. Because of her you are here and your main credential is a police Clearance.
  8. Your idea of fun is smoking marijuana, attending a passa passa party and going to tony Matterhorn show etc.  
  9. Your breath is harsh.
  10. You are allergic to the comb.

Wait! Wait! Where are you going I’m not done, why are you walking away? Speak to me and listen to my inner thoughts.


Obviously you show no sign of ambition.


Aw well.




Get out of my face and stop stuttering I am going to call the Director and ask her what was the message.

 I told you a million times now strictly no verbal contact. Write! Write! Write!  and give me notes only. Learn to spell and write then.

Why do you think I bought that notepad and a pen for you? 

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  • Brass Knuckle  On January 15, 2009 at 6:35 pm

    you know……if i was any one of them i would give you a backhand, bend you over the table and deal with you properly. However, I’m not in their category so I expect you to assume the position, sprawled and wet when I enter your room

  • raptus8  On January 16, 2009 at 9:05 am

    I’m sitting here thinking of a witty response but no avail.Your chimera left me flabbergasted.

    Welcome back Knucks :-).

  • Ruel  On January 25, 2009 at 4:05 pm

    Lol…this is the funniest shit I’ve read in a long time.

  • raptus8  On January 26, 2009 at 9:49 am

    the post? or the comments?

  • Brass Knuckle  On January 29, 2009 at 6:05 pm

    hey tussi my msn msg aint working

  • raptus8  On January 30, 2009 at 8:31 am

    Do the next best thing then…

  • Brass Knuckle  On January 31, 2009 at 12:22 pm

    what? yahoo?

  • raptus8  On February 2, 2009 at 8:12 am

    Email me ….

  • Tykira  On April 19, 2009 at 6:19 pm

    LMAO. Hi Raptus8. This post is hilarious, I can’t stop laughing.

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