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The Female Condom.


Never used it but yesterday one of my friends tried persuading  me to by telling me what she likes about it. With a smirk on her pretty face, she started by saying that it is easy to insert, comfortable and it gives better sexual sensations.

So I showed her how happy I am for her and her new toy.

Yet knowing that I was not interested, she continued by saying that her fiancé likes it too because he says that it is not as constricting as the male condom…

As if I care about what he thinks… she man always gat some damn charade going on.

…..and finally and this is what she likes most about it, I can tell, because she had suddenly dived into a seductive mood while saying that the female condom is not disruptive to sex because women can insert it minutes or hours before intercourse.

 

I replied: so yuh saying that your man does tek foreva to put a condom on….ha ha ha. And it seems as though you like things up in yuh Vag(vagina) all day .…lol

 

I guess that did it because she finally changed the topic. Then after thinking, I requested to see what it looks like and behold to my surprise it looked like a small plastic stocking and then she pointed out the soft loose fitting sheath that is about six and a half inches long and two flexible rings that holds it in place. She also told me that one of the rings is inserted into the vagina and serves like a cervical cap, while the other ring remains outside, covering the vagina.

 

Wtf?

Now firstly, I do not like to use tampons or anything that is immobile in my precious vag  and what if the man’s penis enters the vagina outside the female condom? After all  men can be very  animalistic and  awkward which causes them to do stupid things during intercourse.  Secondly, I certainly do not think having anything; hanging outside of my vagina is going to be comfortable and what will happen if the female condom gets pushed too far into the vagina? Who is going to retrieve it? Who is going to pay for the visit to the god damn Vag Man ( the Gynecologist who looks perverted by the way) .Finally, and most importantly I am no expert but I don’t think that the female condom is aesthetically pleasing and I have a strong feelings that it will be cheaper to purchase male condoms instead.

 

 p.s. NO…… I will not try it honey so don’t you dare asked me to after reading this post and the same goes for the bikini wax.

 

 

 

carifesta is on.


Yay Carifesta’s celebrations are going to begin on Friday so that means this weekend will be heaving with the non DJ Stress’s parties and nuff nuff Guinness. I tell yuh a weekend like this has been long awaited be my buddies and me , ah hope de blessed rain don’t fall thoa.

I see them having clean-up campaigns and things and  I must admit that I am feeling lil nice about it, but wait bai what about them beggars that wondering the streets? Get them away from me nuh, the last thing I need is that traditional suppliant at three in the morning outside of a club.

O shit which reminds me I gotta call meh girl friend at the secretariat to secure tickets.